If I had it to do over again…

Ever muttered those words?  I can’t tell you how often I’ve said something along those lines.  Given the chance to do things differently…

We’ve all had plenty of times in life to reflect…to wonder what might’ve been if only a few things in our pasts were a bit different.  As a divorced dad of two youngsters, I can assure you I spent many a thoughts on the notion that if I could trade everything but those two precious kiddos, I’d do it.  An old Anna Nalick song said it pretty simply – “No one can find the rewind button”.  Life simply has no rewind button.

Enter the old adage…live and learn.

Live…and learn.

You know, I’ve gotta interrupt my thought for a moment and share a quick story.  After literally years of writing…periods of vast productivity followed by even longer dry spells, I sat down with my family a season or two ago and my sweet sister flattered me with a compliment about my recent writings.  In the process, she contrasted that my current thoughts seemed so much brighter than the darker days of my early writings.  I remember being completely puzzled by that summation.  I’ve gone back and reread some of those old notes and honestly scratch my head sometimes.  But then again, there were things going on in my life that only family was privy to, so perhaps those writings had a different shadow cast than what others read.  I’m not sure…but I bring that story up to say this…I realize the first 5 lines of this note will undoubtedly cause some to wonder whether this is a down-tone note…it’s not.  Just hang with me…

I remember during my lowest lows, a close friend said to me, “Congratulations…you’re living.”  I thought it cynical.  I thought it grim.  I thought it crazy.  Turns out, it was more truth than any of those.  Learning is living.  Whether we’re in a school desk, or recovering from a broken heart, or anything else…we learn every day.  And with that, we broaden our experience to enrich our lives for the future.  Why else would it be so easy to wonder how things might be if we could do them over again?  It’s because we’re smarter now than we were “then” – as if “then” was some awfully dark place in our lives.

The fact of the matter is simply this…we get the chance every day to live.  We also have the opportunity every day to reflect on the passing of our lives.  What did we get right?  What could we do better?  What…if the opportunity ever comes this way again…EXACTLY WHAT would I do differently?

Why that exercise?

Simple…inevitably that time comes back around.  It may be disguised…it may come in a form we never imagined…but it comes back around.  And when it does…you have your chance to do it – and to do it “right” this time.

I watched a pretty good football game last night as my alma mater upended the number 1 team in the country on that team’s home field.  There was endless chatter the week before the game about how one team’s football coach was the master at preparing his team.  The week before, the team had faced what many thought would be its toughest test of the season and, down less than a touchdown with 90 seconds to go in a really tough place to be the visiting team, the entire sideline of that team had a sense they’d win…they knew somehow they’d pull it out.  Further, this aura was such that even the fans in that stadium had a change of energy that they expected their hometown favorites would lose the game as well.  And as the story played out…everybody was right.  The miracle happened and the visiting favorites pulled out a victory.  It hammered home at a point I’ve often thought about.  This coach had his team always thinking about the end…the goal…the victory.  They visualized victory.

Steven Covey’s infamous “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” had an interesting thought that I’ve often tried to remind myself of: “Begin with the end in mind.”  If you want to win, define what it is exactly that you want to win…and then align your steps with that ultimate goal.

Is it possible that’s why we teach our kids all the dos and don’ts?  Are we, in some dreamy utopia, trying to shortcut that trial and error for our kids so they don’t have to experience some of our very own “agony of defeat”?  The dos and don’ts can sometimes lead to parental nagging and “I told you so” mentality.  Trust me, I used the latter earlier today on my sweet daughter.  I’m not perfect at any of this, but just as my kiddos need to know this, so do I – it’s all a part of living and learning.

In the midst of all these thoughts swirling in my mind, I also began wondering exactly why we’d spend that kind of time redefining our “if I had to do it over agains”.  The Covey stuff was bouncing around in my head along with some of these other thoughts, when I was reminded of a very frequently quoted verse from the New Testament book of Revelation.  Chapter 22, verse 13 reads, “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.”  There it was… “the Beginning and the End.”

If learning is living, then to me, living isn’t limited to our endings but to our beginnings as well.  Confused?  Let me put it another way.  I have no regrets with my past.  I have hope for my future which I define as everything beyond the instant I type the period on the end of this sentence.  It is all a part of living.  It is all a part of learning.  At the end of the day, this life isn’t really mine – it’s the property of whatever was responsible for putting me here in the first place.  If God really is the Alpha and the Omega, then my responsibility is to get the most out of this life that I can.  That means beginning with the end in mind…in everything.

In everything, live…and learn.

This applies to everything imaginable.  It applies to your health, your liberties, your family life, your relationships, your finances…you name it…it applies.  It doesn’t matter how you get there – it matters that you take your responsibility seriously and live this life you’ve been given with the end in mind.  When the dust settles, how would you like to look back and remember these times?  That, to me, is beginning with the end in mind.

I was recently blessed to see a band called “The Script” perform in Dallas.  I’d not heard of their music even though I was assured that I had.  Nevertheless, the day of the concert rolled around and I decided I ought to preview some songs on YouTube just to get familiar with what I’d be hearing later that evening.  By the way, if you haven’t had the chance to listen to this band, do it.  Much of their music is what I loosely call “relationship” music.  It’s about broken hearts, and fixing bad breakups, and taking back things that shouldn’t have been said, etc.  But one song really stood out to me…possibly because of the video, but also because this is what I hope I’m living while I’m beginning with the end in mind.  And more importantly, it’s the message I hope I’m bestowing in my children…that any of us can be standing in the hall of fame.

For me personally, the only hall of fame I ever hope to be standing in is the one for great, fun-loving dads who live out John 15:13 on a daily basis, who are respected by those who knew him, who seized the best of every day and rolled along even when the worst looked to get him down.

I want to be standing in the hall of fame for people who lived…and learned.

God bless,

Tim

Lyrics from “Hall of Fame” as performed by The Script (featuring will.i.am)

YouTube video located at (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mk48xRzuNvA&feature=bf_prev&list=TLesG3gYrwERs&shuffle=324786)

Yeah, You could be the greatest

You can be the best

You can be the King Kong banging on your chest

 

You could beat the world

You could beat the war

You could talk to God, go banging on his door

 

You can throw your hands up

You can be the clock

You can move a mountain

You can break rocks

You can be a master

Don’t wait for luck

Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself

 

Standing in the hall of fame

And the world’s gonna know your name

Cause you burn with the brightest flame

And the world’s gonna know your name

And you’ll be on the walls of the hall of fame

 

You could go the distance

You could run the mile

You could walk straight through hell with a smile

 

You could be the hero

You could get the gold

Breaking all the records that thought never could be broke

 

Do it for your people

Do it for your pride

Never gonna know if you never even try

 

Do it for your country

Do it for your name

Cause there’s gonna be a day

 

When you’re, standing in the hall of fame

And the world’s gonna know your name

Cause you burn with the brightest flame

And the world’s gonna know your name

And you’ll be on the walls of the hall of fame

 

Be a champion, Be a champion, Be a champion, Be a champion

 

On the walls of the hall of fame

 

Be students

Be teachers

Be politicians

Be preachers

 

Be believers

Be leaders

Be astronauts

Be champions

Be true seekers

 

Be students

Be teachers

Be politicians

Be preachers

 

Be believers

Be leaders

Be astronauts

Be champions

 

Standing in the hall of fame

And the world’s gonna know your name

Cause you burn with the brightest flame

And the world’s gonna know your name

And you’ll be on the walls of the hall of fame

 

(You can be a champion)

You could be the greatest

(You can be a champion)

You can be the best

(You can be a champion)

You can be the King Kong banging on your chest

 

 

(You can be a champion)

You could beat the world

(You can be a champion)

You could beat the war

(You can be a champion)

You could talk to God, go banging on his door

 

(You can be a champion)

You can throw your hands up

(You can be a champion)

You can be the clock

(You can be a champion)

You can move a mountain

(You can be a champion)

You can break rocks

 

(You can be a champion)

You can be a master

(You can be a champion)

Don’t wait for luck

(You can be a champion)

Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself

(You can be a champion)

 

Standing in the hall of fame