There are a great many tributes to fathers this Father’s Day.  Some to current  dads young and old.  Some to step-dads who’ve taken big roles in their “bonus kids’” lives.  Some to moms, rightfully so, for pulling double-duty whether it’s due to them being single moms or married to the military – or any other reason (there are plenty of reasons out there).  All that I’ve seen are touching.  Some are funny…some are tear-jerkers.  Marketing gurus have honed in on all our celebrations these days so that, for those who watch any sort of recorded entertainment – whether it be the old fashioned television, or any number of subscriber services available online – we’re reminded, if not bombarded, that some holiday is upon us and let’s get some emotions stirring.

I guess it’s good I don’t watch a whole lot of TV…or YouTube…or much else for that matter.  Not because I’m noble…probably because I scroll too much Facebook or play too many games on my phone.

That notwithstanding, I do cherish the time I have with family…and that time gets sweeter by the day as I prepare myself mentally and emotionally to drop my oldest off at college in 9 weeks.

The other night, my lovely bride and I got back to an old card game she taught me a few years ago.  We both grew up fond of board games and card games so it was a natural fit that we took to playing games with one another.  Friends cringe in disbelief that we played a whole lot of card games on our honeymoon two years ago.  I can say with all honesty that we’ve played cards in some of the most beautiful scenery you can imagine…from the patio of a hotel with direct view of Denali in the midnight sun, to an airport in Cozumel waiting to board our plane home, or from our balcony on a cruise through the Inside Passage, there’s just no place we won’t pull out those cards.

In my own father’s tradition…a bit of an obnoxious one…each time I come out victorious, I stretch my right arm in the air and say to her in the same voice Dad used to: “HOLD MY HAND UP!”.

I watched a lot of Saturday Night Wrestling when, as a child, my parents would go to friends or family to play cards or dominoes.  I watched an occasional boxing match as well…and, if you’ve never seen it, at the end of a match, the referee holds up the winner’s hand as a symbol of victory.  So when I’d play games with Dad, and he’d win, he’d holler “HOLD MY HAND UP!” and, just like my dear bride, sometimes I would and sometimes I wouldn’t strictly out of disgust.  LOL.

Yeah…see, I told you…it’s a little obnoxious…but it’s a little fun, too.

But I’ve been on a fast moving train of reflection the past few weeks and months, and have been stirred recently to write a bit.  It’s been almost two years – back to my wedding day to be exact – since I last posted anything on my blog and, again, very honestly, life’s been a little too crazy to be able to capture much time for writing.  However, with all the reflecting I’ve been doing, I felt it time to slow down and get this much out there.

So I want to start, by Holding Up the Hands of the children in this household.  Between us, Shelby and I have 5 kids.  We refer to our spouse’s kids not as step-children, but as “bonus-kids” and we both find that quite fitting.  For coming up with that term alone, I hold my wife’s hand up.  She’s the reason this household ever has a positive vibe and spin…much less the reason we get fed and out the door most days.

I’m honoring our kids oldest to youngest – without regard to whose they are – because, they’re all OURS!

First, Grace.  I HOLD YOUR HAND UP because YOU DID IT!  You got accepted to your first choice University, you balanced an incredibly crazy load the last couple of years, you rode almost every roller coaster known to man the past few years to get to this point, and…wow…you won!  I am so excited for you to experience learning in a brand new setting – to see how well the past 13 years at one school has prepared you, and most of all, to see just who you’re going to become.  I have no doubt about your success – no doubt there will be a few more roller coasters too, but know that you’re prepared.

Next up, Briella. I HOLD YOUR HAND UP because of all you have to manage…and how well you do it.  Yeah, we’ve seen the ups and downs, and ride right alongside you when you do it, but YOU’RE DOING IT!  You work to cover insurance and gas…and enough for some spending money of your own, and your grades are admirable standing on their own, much less after you take into account your after-school schedule.  I watch you honor your friends like nobody I’ve known…and you love giving gifts and doing nice things for people, even when you’re just flat worn down.  You don’t back down and I love that!

Ward, dude…I HOLD YOUR HAND UP because of all you’ve accomplished at school AND home.  I’m not sure if it was NOT getting salutatorian in 8^th grade that motivated you, or what, but to take home the honors in every class…EVERY class this year?  It was almost embarrassing!!!  Ha!  Not really, I was bursting with pride…and ecstatic for you!  But you’re even better at keeping the peace and fighting for what’s fair.  You don’t like conflict and strive to find peace between people if you sense something brewing.  I worried about that at first – that you were sticking your nose where it didn’t belong…but now, I see and know your heart, and young man, in my book, that’s a victory to have that skill.

Nico, bud…I HOLD YOUR HAND UP for perseverance.  I won’t go into private details from the past year, but we both know the challenges you’ve faced.  You proved the moniker “not an athletic kid” completely false by taking home not one MVP trophy at the Middle School Awards Banquet…but TWO!  You stuck to it during football season, even as asthma seemed to have a grip on you, and learned two field events in shotput and discus that you’d never even thought of before…racking up tons of points for your track team, and earning…EARNING the nickname “King Nico”.  Better than that, I see you sticking up for your friends – guys who may not be as accepted around school as the popular kids, and that is more honorable than an MVP award any day.

Dom…DOMINATOR…I HOLD YOUR HAND UP because of your heart.  Your mom likes to say you’re definitely her son…a reference to the tenderhearted kid that you are.  You wear those emotions on your sleeve, and I have a secret for you…so do I.  I did growing up, the same way you do every day.  (FYI, your mom and I are a LOT alike).  Here’s a secret…99% of the time, people are going to love that most about you.   You may see it as a weakness, but it’s a strength.  It’s those 1% out there I want you to watch out for.  You’re stronger than they are, but you don’t know it…yet.  One day you’ll know this and I know you’ll be a lot more confident in just how much you bring to the table.

I only briefly mentioned Shelby earlier, because I wanted dedicated space to honor my wife.

Those who have worked with her know her dedication.  Those who have befriended her know her sweet soul.  Those who have crossed her know of her grace.  Those who have eaten a meal at her table, know of her skill in the kitchen.  Those who have prayed with her know that she’s so authentic, her prayers often move her to tears – and she prays a lot.  Those who have been in or around her classroom know of her creativity and genuine care for every child under her care.  Those who have worshipped with her know that she sings her heart out at every song.

I’d be here all day, every day, holding up my wife’s hand because every day she IS a winner!  But like a lot of you winners out there, she doesn’t necessarily believe that about herself.

And pretty simply, that’s why I wanted to write this note.  You see, I’ve learned a lot about life…about winning…and about losing…the past few years.  A lot of what I thought was “winning”…wasn’t.  And conversely, some of what I thought about “losing”…wasn’t either.  Winning takes many forms, shapes, and sizes…and sometimes, it can take days or weeks of reflection to find even the smallest of victories.  But sometimes, those may be the only victories we’ve got to go on…and if nobody’s there to hold our hands up, we ought to do just that ourselves.

If you’re reading this far, I hope you’ll stop and reach out to those who you’ve seen do some things, no matter how ordinary they may seem, and hold their hand up in victory.  We could all use it these days.

I’ll close with this:  Psalm 63:3-4 reads, “Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.  I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I WILL LIFT UP MY HANDS!”

So you…I HOLD YOUR HAND UP!