Last Saturday, I arranged my schedule in such a way to free me up to see my kiddos who were staying at their mom’s place for the weekend. My son, following his big sister’s footsteps, has a renewed focus this summer to continue his path to black belt in Tae Kwon Do. He’s still probably 2 years away, but it’s good to see him get serious about something other than a video game during his summer break.

For those who haven’t read my thoughts before, I’ll take a moment to describe my handsome little 8 year old. He’s as bright as can be, very quick witted, has rarely met a stranger, a bit on the hyper side and all bundled up into a package that can wear down even the higher endurance folks out there. And one more thing, he’s also in a group of kids that are known for being “learning different”. Yep…as smart as he truly is, as sharp of a memory as he has, my son sometimes has an issue taking something from his brain to his fingers. With the hyperactivity thrown in, Tae Kwon Do, as you might imagine, can be quite the challenge.

He’s finally at the rank where, to achieve his next belt color, he must learn to spar – the equivalent of fighting with pads on. It’s not really all that violent at all, and with the protective gear, kids his age rarely get hurt at all. But it’s part of the process of becoming a higher belt rank…and so, my son has embraced it and is a bit excited about it. When I saw him Saturday, I asked how his class went. “Dad, I had to fight 3 BLACK BELTS! What were they thinking making me fight against BLACK BELTS???”

My son’s rank, as mentioned before, is still 2 years (out of a total of 3 years typically) away from black belt, so it was quite a step up for him to spar against black belts. Then again, in my own training, I recalled many occasions where the black belts would take me aside and show me some of the finer points about what to do and what not to do when sparring.

As he began to rattle on, my mind began to hone in on a teaching point. At the end of his next sentence, I asked my son if I could borrow his computer. “Sure, what do you want to look up?” We pulled up the search engine and I began to type: S-T-E-E-L S-H-A-R-P-E-N-S

He was eagerly reading over my shoulder “Steel sharpens…dad, what are you looking for?”

I hit the search and there came the quote I was looking for…

Proverbs 27:17 “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

My son read it. He looked at me with that inquisitive look on his face. The teaching moment was locked in. “What does that mean to you, son?”

“I don’t know…” he said rather nonchalantly.

“When a person sharpens a knife, do you think they use wood?”

“no”

“What about dirt?”

“uh, no”

“What about grass?”

“Dad, come on get serious…”

“Typically another piece of steel is used to help sharpen a metal blade.” (For all you folks out there that want to call into play the use of grindstones, etc., take it somewhere else…ha! You’re missing my point).

My son nodded. I continued, “See son, just as it takes steel to sharpen another piece of steel, this verse says that one person sharpens another. You were sparring with black belts to help you get better. It’s the same in anything you do – you learn from teachers who sharpen you every day at school, from friends who sometimes teach you lessons the hard way, from your parents and grandparents on all kinds of things…”

And about then, the lecture was lost…he was ready for something else.

But in that moment, I found a lesson for myself…and it is the purpose for this note.

Too often, I’ve tried to go through life with the same old dull knife…not learning from lessons of the past. Too often, I’ve let days, weeks, and months pass, with little or no progress, or even negative progress on goals I so ardently set out before me. Too often, I’ve let those little teaching moments dissipate into “shoulda beens”. Too often, I’ve found myself worn down from the comings and goings of everyday life without taking a step back and trying to learn where I might be able to sharpen myself from my experiences.

At dinner last night, I had a discussion that seemed to further that point. Too often we’re so wrapped up in the here and now, that we don’t chill out, we don’t back off…we don’t remove ourselves to try and see things from a new perspective. I’ve often written about seizing the day…grabbing life by the horns…going for the gusto…and all those sorts of great notions.

Never underestimate the power of chilling out and seeing where the lessons may be.

As steel sharpens steel…

Thank you son, for never backing down from who you are.

Thank you son, for being so willing to forgive and move on.

Thank you son, for talking your little head off…even when my eyes are about to pop out.

Thank you son, for being brave about your differences, and never letting them stand in your way.

Thank you son, for being one great piece of steel… I learn a lot from you every day.

I love you, my little man of steel!