Hi gang;

It’s certainly been a while…and as with every new day, change is upon us. I hope the new year has been good to all of you. I’m 10 pounds down from my starting point this year, so all in all, I’m feeling quite happy…just 50 more pounds to go. 😉

As most of you know, the inspiration to write for me has typically been pretty easy. The past few months, though, have been really difficult to weed through. It’s been like a bit of quicksand. I moved recently from the house my children were born and raised in – so that is probably partly to blame for my lack of creative productivity. Nonetheless, I’ve felt somewhat mired in a funk.

In that funk, I’ve noted that much of my hustle and bustle, and the changing all my life’s routines, has left me perhaps a little crabbier, shorter with my kids, and at times, completely alone to my thoughts. Most of you know that throughout our separation and divorce, Scottie and I lived next door to each other – so the kids were always accessible. This has been quite an adjustment for all of us, but, funny thing is…the kids seem to be doing MUCH better than my pessimistic side would allow me to believe. And at a point of reflection this week, I realized that much of my “funk” was self-imposed – which only served to blow a few months by me that I’ll never get back…time with my kiddos that will never be replaced. Alas, I’ve learned yet another valuable lesson.

The other day, the kids and I were out running an errand and my 7-year old son asked me how old I was. “Forty-two, son,” I replied. His answer? “Wow dad, you’re not even halfway to dead yet.” As his sister and I began to poke around at his logic, I was reminded of a time when I was his age and thought that we all lived to 100. I thought then that might be an interesting topic to write about but the thought faded and my new routines took over. Until today, that is.

Three o’clock on Friday afternoons are typically when the brain-fry sets in – another week in the books, 2 hours left unless the boss leaves early, I can get home early maybe and play with the kids a bit. I was introduced to yet another musical toy for my phone, Pandora radio. I know most of you are rolling your eyes wondering just how far behind a person can be…but…I’m now in the Pandora craze. So I had my earphones in listening to Pandora which matches songs based on your musical tastes. And right as my mind slipped into that 3 o’clock checkout, the band Five for Fighting’s song “100 years” came on. As you read the lyrics at the end of this email, you’ll understand why I was fighting back watery eyes as this beautiful little ballad played along. I know some of the words, and understand some of the meaning. But I couldn’t help but think about my kiddos and how badly I want to wrap them up and let them know how important it is to hold on to their dreams and never stop chasing them.

There are many definitions of this song online – many people with many interpretations. All of them center around the feeling that the character in the song starts at 15 with ideals of love, by 22 he meets her and falls in love, by 33 they’re having a family, by 45 he’s in his mid-life crisis, by 67 he realizes the sun is setting, and by 99 he still clings to the same ideal he had when he was 15. Some rationalize that his wife has since died and he just longs to be with her again…and ends the song with that same wish he had at 15.

I realized today, as I have in days past, I’m 42 for a moment. My kids are 7 and 11…only for a moment. My daughter is already text messaging…soon I’ll be scaring boys off the front porch and dealing with fatherly things I’m not ready for. My son…he reads so much better now than he did a couple of years ago when he refused to read. He isn’t nearly as infatuated with dinosaurs as he once was. He’s in a challenging math class at his school…and thankfully, he still thinks girls have cooties. But they’ve both changed so much. The old adage, “they grow up so fast” is no longer lost on me. The longest of work-weeks could never replace the moments of time I’m missing with my kids.

We adults tend to want to slow our kids’ roll a bit. They all want to be bigger than they are, it seems…and we want them to grasp the idea that they’re “15 – there’s still time for you.”

I must admit too, when Ward said I wasn’t halfway through with life, his sister and I both corrected him and told him that not everybody lives to 100. (I personally think it’s the fact that there’s so much emphasis on counting to 100 when you’re young, that this MUST be where our common line of thinking stems from! Ha!). In my mind, I began thinking…I was 19 when dad died. Under that model, I could be gone 8 years from now, or 12 years from now – depending on which of my kids ages I added from. Then again, Dad was 55 so I’ve got a little over 13 years on that scale. With those thoughts in my head, I got my physical and started doing something about this not-so-healthy body. There were no epiphanies really…no new year’s resolutions…none of that. The fact that I was frankly tired of the old me and, in this recent process of change thought I should add one more change to the mix…that being my overall physical health. I’ve worked on my spiritual health, fiscal health, mental health, and emotional health for quite some time now…and I’m feeling very good in those categories. But some changes are easier than others – I’m sure you can all attest.

42 and there’s still time for me.

Some of you have seen that one of my favorite Bible verses is Matthew 17:20: “He replied, “Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

Things that have long seemed impossible shouldn’t be as long as we have faith. Faith in a higher power (mine is God and the redeeming power of His son, Jesus). We must also have Faith in ourselves. And finally, we truly must have Faith in our dreams and aspirations. Once we believe in this triumvirate, we are unstoppable.

How about you? However old you are – there’s still time for you. Ask my mom…

Be blessed…each and every one of you!

Tim

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Five for Fighting – “100 years”

I’m 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I’m 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we’re on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

I’m 33 for a moment
Still the man, but you see I’m a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

I’m 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I’m heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy, Time to lose yourself
Within a morning star

15 I’m all right with you
15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We’re moving on…

I’m 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I’m just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15 there’s still time for you
22 I feel her too
33 you’re on your way
Every day’s a new day…

15 there’s still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15, there’s never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live