Hello all, and Happy Memorial Day weekend! I hope you are all enjoying the chance to recharge your batteries. It’s been a while since I have taken the time to sit down and write – although the thoughts have been on paper for quite a while. The glue came together this week, as our family celebrated my son’s successful completion of first grade and my daughter’s graduation from Lower School (4th grade).
The Lower School puts on a very formal graduation, practically filling the varsity gym at the school with parents, grandparents, faculty, and all the students from the rest of lower school. Pre-K through 3rd grade each performed a song at the graduation, while selected 4th grade students read leadership essays and others provided some memories of each grade. It was actually a great ceremony – and I’ll tell you honestly, I listened more to my daughter’s 4th grade graduation than I did at any graduation ceremony I’d ever attended – even my own.
There were two masters of ceremony, one of which was a former player on the girls soccer team I coached a couple of years ago. For any of you who’ve taken on the responsibility of coaching kiddos, you know how rewarding it can be…and you can all imagine how mind-riddling it can be when 14 girls whose voices are so high-pitched, so sweet, and yet so demanding, all begin simultaneously asking about 2 minutes before the start of the game, “Coach Tim, Can I be Captain? Coach Tim, Can I be Captain? Coach Tim? COACH?!?!” As Lara directed the ceremony on Thursday with her fellow-MC, I couldn’t help but sit there and have my own memory trip of the past few years.
It’s funny really, the position of “Captain” in 2nd and 3rd grade YMCA Soccer is nothing more than ceremonial. The sole responsibility of the captain is to stand at the center of the field with the other team’s captain and talk about who gets the kickoff and which side a team is going to stand…all at the direction, ultimately, of the coach. But there’s something about that honor that compels each player to be that captain – it’s the “first victory” (and sometimes only victory) of the day.
Similarly in life, we all are ceremonial captains of a life we’ve been provided to live. But who, or what, is our coach? Where is that overriding direction? And does adhering to that direction guarantee a victory? The first two questions are really up to you – each of us has our own drum. The last question I think can be answered more generically. Adhering to a direction…or better, our personal truths about ourselves, doesn’t always produce “victory” if such victory is decided by a winning score on any of life’s scoreboards. But, if you define victory more broadly…the idea of “winning at life” where one can take on life’s inevitable challenges and still come out with his/her sanity (or better), I think then you have a definition of victory.
This past week, the Dallas Mavericks (a professional basketball team here in Dallas – for those of you who don’t follow) beat their opponent to win the Western Conference for only the 2nd time in the team’s history. The last time it happened, the team got caught up in the euphoria of finally winning the chance to play in the NBA Finals. After going up on their opponent with a 2 games to none lead in a best of 7 series, the Mavericks lost 4 straight and watched their opponent celebrate what seemed so within reach just a few days before. As part of that “lesson learned”, you didn’t see an overwhelming celebration by the players after the victory this past week. In fact, much has been made about the team’s star player walking away from the festivities to disappear back into the locker-room. The last thing he wanted was to feel like he’d accomplished anything – after all, the team’s ultimate goal is the entire championship. Pundits say that if you “respect the game, it’ll come back to you.” If anything, folks could argue the Mavericks lived up to that line this year.
Why throw this in? Simple…life works the same way. If you play it with respect, it will come back to you. If you abuse it, you’ll be paid back with abuse. If you fail to take your calculated chances, those chances won’t roll your way as often. But always, if you play it with respect – you can count on life, regardless of who your “coach” is, to pay back to you whatever you put into it. The Bible says “whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap.” This is not an uncommon logic – but too often, it’s not well-followed.
Interestingly, the head of lower school, in his departing speech at graduation charged his graduating class of 4th graders to continue on the trajectory they had begun in lower school. One line Michael Simpson said stuck out to me more than any other – and I reiterated later that night to my own daughter. He said, “Your success is up to you.” This sounds awfully familiar to all that stuff above, doesn’t it?
So friends, take care to figure out who’s coaching…really coaching your life. Are you “staying true” to your own truths or are you allowing yourself to be whipped in the winds of other peoples’ words and actions? Don’t let temporary defeats and setbacks take your focus away – after all, it is all a part of life. Sow a respect for life, reap a life worth living; sow any less than that, reap a life of regret and shoulda-woulda-couldas.
I forget which grade performed it, but I remember almost being emotional when one of the grades performed the Beatles’ “With a Little Help From My Friends.” Each of you who reads this note has provided some sort of help along the way, and I am truly grateful for your presence in my life. I have not always sown things with respect – but have tried very hard in recent years to do a much better job of that. Your friendships have blessed me in such a way, that I know all these words to be true…and I wouldn’t be where I am today had I not had the help of my friends.
God bless you all,
Tim
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The Beatles’ With a Little Help From My Friends
What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song,
And I’ll try not to sing out of key.
Oh I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm,I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends.
Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.
What do I do when my love is away.
(Does it worry you to be alone)
How do I feel by the end of the day
(Are you sad because you’re on your own)
No, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna to try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.
Would you believe in a love at first sight?
Yes I’m certain that it happens all the time.
What do you see when you turn out the light?
I can’t tell you, but I know it’s mine.
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm I get high with a little help from my friends,
Oh, I’m gonna try with a little help from my friends
Do you need anybody?
I just need someone to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, gonna try with a little help from my friends
Ooh, I get high with a little help from my friends
Yes I get by with a little help from my friends,
with a little help from my friends
My thoughts on things... 